28.7.23

Livros sobre música que vale a pena ler - Cromo #100: Nick Soulsby - "Everything Keeps Dissolving – Conversations With Coil"


 

autor: Nick Soulsby
título: Everything Keeps Dissolving - Conversations With Coil
editora: Strange Attractor Press
nº de páginas: 600
isbn: 97819113689348
data: 2023
1ª Edição / 1st Edition

Nick Soulsby
Autografado pelo autor em 16.02.2023
1ª Edição
Strange Attractor Press
Limited Edition
Hard Cover
350 copies












Everything Keeps Dissolving – Conversations With Coil

Nick Soulsby

Autografado pelo autor em 16.02.2023

1ª Edição

Strange Attractor Press

Limited Edition

Hard Cover

350 copies

 

About This Book’s Title:

Around the time of the first Coil Royal Festival Hall performance in April 2000, John Balance was speaking to the musician, journalist, and Sentrax Corporation label boss, John Everall, who was undergoing his own struggles with alcohol and mental health challenges. ‘EVERYTHING KEEPS DISSOLVING’, said Everall, a phrase which clearly resonated with ^Balance, who used it as the title of the recording of the extended drone piece performed at the Royal Festival Hall, and at Sonar in Barcelona the same year.

 

Everything Keeps Dissolving: Conversations With Coil

By Nick Soulsby

 

First published by Strange Attractor Press 2023

Text © The Authors

 

Cover by Tihana Sare, layout by Maia Gaffney-Hyde

Typeset in Aichel, Acuta and Komet

 

Hardcover

Tem sobrecapa

 

ISBN 97819113689348

 

Strange Attractor Press

BM SAP, London,

WC1N 3XX, UK

 

Distributed by The MIT Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

And London, England.

 

Introduction

Nick Soulsby

Significant time immersed in the voices of Coil has provided various thoughts perhaps woth sharing.

Remembrance of childhood is not neutral: we sift and discard  masses of material from the 5,475 days lived out by age 16, choosing what to present to others, what is recalled but hidden from others’ sight, and what goes entirely unrecalled. In Balance’s case, he was uncharacteristically discreet regarding the backdrop of his childhood. Divorce was not without social stigma in 60s Britain, nor his parental separation a nothing to any child. Later statements that he sometimes slept in a dog basket and would bite the ankles of his mum’s suitors do not suggest it was easy. Remarriage and an armed forces stepfather led to a peripatetic upbringing including nine schools before age 11. Seeing Coil perform in 2004, I recall Balance on stage recounting a startling tale in which his stepfather held him over the edge of one of the Ruhr dams, then hit him for crying about it. While indicating pressure over behavior deemed effeminate, Balance’s recollection spoke also to his defiance of a repressed and regimented vision of male identity.

Instead of dwelling on his family, however, Balance spent his adulthood recounting tales such as his birth in the grounds of an asylum for the shellshocked soldiers; his worship of the moon from age seven; of an extreme bout of measles resulting in three weeks lying in a dark room: ‘… the sort of “shamanic type” illnesses that they say happen in people’s lives which change your perception of the world forever.’ Of taking magic mushrooms, age 11; of writing Alex Sanders, ‘King Of The Witches’, at 12; of dabbling teachers sharing occult practices; of sexual activity with other pupils; of a letter from the headmaster stating he was ‘obsessed with the occult and could he desist from astral projecting into other people’s heads.‘ A CV used as press material in Coil’s early days mentioned ‘psychiatric treatment after attempting to push a piano down three flights of stairs and strangling the son of a United Nations diplomat… Seduced by a 70-year-old cook… scandal with son of famous Disney actor… Brush with police after placing five pigs’ heads face up in the public lavatories.’

While doubtlessly delighting in spinning eyebrow-raising yarns, the stories Balance presented should not be interpreted as mere disturbance. Rather, this was his tale of liberation, a rite of passage, in which finding himself in magick and finding himself as a gay man were entwined. In Balance’s telling, ill health and delinquency were symptoms that fell away once the twin stars of his being were inwardly accepted and externally realized.

The joy of self-identification did not, of course, mean full resolution. While stage names might be unexceptional, it’s hard to think of an artist as defined by multiplicity as the man who went by Geff, Geoffrey, John, Jhonn; Burton, Rushton, Balance; Legion, Coil, Frater Coil O*, Eden 2, Absolom, Rufus Pool, Otto Avery, Louise Weasel, Jenny De’Ath; Zos Kia, ELpH, Eskaton, Black Light District, Time Machines… His claim to have been treated for schizophrenia as a child was unlikely and regurgitated pop culture’s mistaken use of schizophrenia as a synonym for dissociative identity disorder, but pointed to his belief that he was, and should be thougt of as, multiple souls coexisting in cycles of harmony/disharmony. This refusal of singularity was at the heart of Coil as seen in their manifesto: ‘ Coil is amorphous… in constant change… Dreamcycles in perpetual motion.’ The manifesto indeed represented that philosophy given that, across ten times I’m aware it was reprinted, not once was the text identical. Coil’s whole set-up rejected the singular as well as simple ‘balance’ too. Intended to feature a shifting cast of collaborators and to coexist with Psychic TV, Coil morphed into a duo but always incorporated at least on other party thus breaking easy back-forth duality.

Coil stood in contrast to most bands, where the norm is to get comfy and then tweak a formula, by making fundamental tectonic shifts every one or two records, every three to five years. Transmutation and the confounding of expectation was critical to their methodology: Scatology applied the magickal philosophy that every occult symbol should be interpretable on multiple levels. Love’s Secret Domain involved a process of ‘folding in’ every sound to render sources vague though still present, then they inaugurated ‘sidereal sound’ – sounds turned ‘inside out.’ 2000 to 2004, the process enacted in the studio became public derangement on stage with material warping on a nightly basis, everything iterated, nothing definitive. Coil, in a remarkable feat of will, rejected stability or a consistent identity in favour of continuous renewal.

Christopherson’s childhood appears far more steady than Balance’s… But then, it’s hard to know. Even when not away working, Christopherson tended to shy away from interviews, often occupying himself elsewhere, or remaining in the background. His discreet nature is visible in the way his collaboration with one natural possessor of the spotlight, Genesis P-Orridge, was replaced by another in Balance. Balance claimed that Christopherson, despite misgivings, was so determined not to provoke trouble within Psychic TV that it was only Balance’s decision to leave that forced Christopherson to speak up and act. Charming and affable at all times, Christopherson was the quintessentially clubbable child of an English academic in his ability to talk volubly about intellectual topics – such as his deep antithesis toward Christianity – while placing a smiling ‘mustn’t grumble’ gloss over more personal emotions. In a couple of interviews, seeing an interviewer’s discomfort with homosexuality, he would comfort and reassure them that they didn´t need to be gay to enjoy and comprehend Coil’s art.

When Balance’s problems forced Christopherson more into the spotlight, he proved an adept PR face, honest, but discreetly eliding the challenges within Coil to talk gear or stage setup instead. In many ways, Balance was his perfect emotional match: one helplessly exposed, the other quite repressed.1 Awareness of this gap between public and private faces was critical to Christopherson’s work which delighted in poking at society’s squeamishness. Appropriately, he lived a double life for most of two decades: entrepreneurial video director by day, esoteric musical force (and sexual adventurer for a time) by night. His nickname – Sleazy – resulted from what he described in Simon’s Ford’s Wreckers Of Civilisation as a taste for ‘using the body as an object of fetishistic exploration…’ His inclinations rubbed up against an ever more stifling cultural climate in which he witnessed P-Orridge charged for ‘obscene’ mail-art; the hysterical condemnation of Coum Transmissions’ Prostitution show; and police raids on Throbbing Gristle’s studio.

 

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Hostile officialdom was a perturbing presence throughout Coil’s first decade. Balance spoke of being subject to police stop-and-search; of a friend’s flat searched for drug paraphernalia; of being arrested at a gay right protest; of fear of the police leading

 

1 After 2004, in Balance’s absence, Chrstopherson’s work moved noticeably toward a more genteel end of the spectrum in the absence of someone to help him access less polite emotion.

 

To the cessation of Psychic TV and Coil’s exploration of cults. The 1987 Operation Spanner prosecutions of various friends of Coil – for consensual sadomasochistic acts – heightened tension, then everything erupted in 1992 when a documentary made false allegations of child abuse against P-Orridge. P-Orridge and family fled into exile after the police raided their home and confiscated their archives. Coil described being so scared they sanitized their home of anything that might arouse police suspicion and spent several years expecting the front door to be kicked in.

This was not the only existential threat to Balance and Christopherson. Both participated enthusiastically in the libertinage of London’s gay scene, only to be slammed brutally into the burgeoning devastation of AIDS. Personally escaping infection brought limited relief as they witnessed friends succumbing. Madonna’s tour manager, Martin Burgoyne, died on his 23rd birthday in 1986 with Balance musing: ‘you start to dwell on it y’know? Especially if you had sex with him.’ Balance still sounded angry in 1995 over the dead of Eddie Cairns, the cover artist for the ‘Tainted Love’ single: ‘I think it was Hammersmith Council who dealt with Eddie’s body… men in bloody Dalek suits wrapped the body in numerous sheets of plastic and didn’t know how to deal with the body.’ Their friend Leigh Bowery would die, aged 33, in December 1994. Meanwhile their long association with Derek Jarman was lived in the shadow of his HIV diagnosis in December 1986, until his death in February 1994.

Coil reflected the shock also felt by the wider gay community, with Scatology’s nod toward niche pleasures giving way to Horse Rotorvator’s explicit grappling with death as a lived experience. A UK resident in their 20s might experience an elderly relative’s demise, a further few an untimely loss from disease or misadventure; it’s truly exceptional to have significant numbers of young friends die. In 1986, Balance was 24, Christopherson was 31: their peak years of sensual exploration were derailed by risk, sickness and death. The terror of those times is underappreciated.

Beyond AIDS lay further trauma. ‘Ostia (The Death Of Pasolini)’ was a simultaneous tribute to the murdered film director; to a friend, Wayne, who jumped from the Dover cliffs; and to another friend, Leon, whose cause of death Coil left undisclosed. Again, in 1992, a voicemail recounting someone’s suicide,’… he threw himself off a cliff…’ was the basis of the haunting ‘Who’ll Fall’. The recording was revisited for 1993’s ‘Is Suicide A Solution?’ with a cover image taken from the window of a Coil fan who leapt from said window to his death. Their other 1993 single was ‘Themes For Derek Jarman’s Blue’, a film visually portraying blindness arising from AIDS.

Described as their ‘dance’ album, 1991’s Love’s Secret Domain was no testament to Second Summer of Love joyousness. Instead of relief from the numbing drumbeat of death, from emotional baggage, from the policeman’s shadow, Coil’s third album ushered in personal cataclysm. In a vast release of tension, Coil spent much of 1988-1992 immersed in the hedonistic relief of Ecstasy and other drugs, Christopherson stating ‘the main reason for that was I think we were struggling to find a kind of intimacy that didn´t involved sexual contact – a consequence of AIDS.’ The resulting album opened with ‘Disco Hospital’ – a metaphor as pointed as Coil’s take on ‘Tainted Love’ – then dwelt on the intertwining of death and love, a soundtrack to desperation not delight. The chemically-induced fallout of these years was to severe it propelled Stephen Thrower from the group, while Balance collapsed on occasions both public and private, before lapsing into alcoholism.2 Marking the seriousness of this moment, ‘Eskaton’ became a permanent

 

2 There’s one further possibility. Aspects of Balance’s magickal pursuits encouraged the loss of personal identity as a step to greater knowledge Balance made a point in the 80s of disparaging magickians he felt were too public in their work, stating that real forward motion should be achieved in private. It makes it hard not to wonder if this series of collapses, in which Balance described having forgotten his name and identity altogether, were in some ways aimed for, the visible outcome of private pursuits and intentions, even if the consequences were in no way predicted or desired.

 

Coil label imprint. Eschatology – the study of the world’s end – tied together Horse Rotorvator’s explicit theme with a wordplay on Scatology. This loop indicated that Coil were attempting to begin anew, that their past was linked to but distinct from their future. They lived now in the ‘last days,’ somewhere amid the apocalypse.

Balance and Christopherson sought workable ways to continue but Coil, for a time, was too bloodied an entity to be the vehicle. Practically speaking, the name Coil existed from 1994 to 1998 almost entirely as an archive, a host for alternate identities, or a remixer of other’s work. A tentative step forward involved standing in direct opposition to their former self: 1994’s Coil Vs. The Eskaton and Coil Vs. ELpH singles. This led to the even more radical idea of shedding Coil’s damaged husk and splintering their activity, into new, unsullied personas: Wormsine, Black Light District, Time Machines, ELpH, Eskaton. 1995-1999 reads as an escape attempt: seeking refuge in a ‘black light district’, the opposite of a red light district’s dangerous carnality; channeling alien entities to extirpate their own voices; escaping time altogether; rejecting Mars and the sun in favour of the feminine moon; leaving London’s dense metropolis in the east for the seaside of Weston-Super-Mare in the far west.

A mooted album title Coil rejected then years prior, Funeral Music From Princess Diana, seemed eerily prescient in 1997. It’s real significance, however, was as a mirror. Across their first decade, Coil tried to find ways to live amid trauma, then in the aftermath tried shedding their identity to find the renewal that redefinition of the self had given Balance as a young man. The final phase of their existence felt like a surrender. Tales of Balance’s frightening battle with alcohol were not products of a scandal-hungry media: Coil was the source. Alongside their candid interviews and onstage acknowledgement of issues, by 2000 they were selling a blood-smeared ‘Trauma’ edition of Musick To Play In The Dark 2, then Balance performed in a straightjacket in 2004. Coil were not virgins. They understood the public’s appetite for salacious consumption, that the media was a delivery mechanism for perusing human pain, and they colluded in the same symbiotic relationship that ended Diana. While Christopherson gave every appearance of being ready to settle into being a musical elder statesman, Balance seemed harrowed by the prospect that he had no way out of his role as a public avatar of pain.

 

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Reading hundreds of Coil interviews, a further tragic-comedy became clear. Coil repeatedly explained that their lived experience as gay men was the creative force underpinning their work… Only to be faced with a blank absence of response. Ossian Brown plainly stated in his book Haunted Air that: ‘Coil were the first resolutely queer group…’ This echoed a statement by Balance in a mid-90s interview: ‘for a long time we were the most out on a limb or experimental gay group, for sure, in England…’ Balance then shrewdly pointed out that people were more comfortable pretending ‘gay music’ only existed as a ghetto of flamboyant disco, something safe, soft and ignorable. It isn’t that anyone denied that Christopherson, Balance, Thrower, Brown or Thighpaulsandra were gay. Their gay identity was simply deemed ephemeral, not worth engaging with, something to be brushed aside in favour of declaring Coil to be a ‘magick’ or ‘drug’ band. Somehow, in stark contrast to Coil’s homosexuality, those definitions aroused no discomfort or debate, they were easier for our dominant heterosexual culture to swallow.

To a large degree this was down to discomfort with the topic of sex, or a desire not to typecast queer individuals, rather than being the result of untoward motives. The effect however, was a persistent refusal to acknowledge the creative impact queerness within Coil. There was no ‘outing’ of Coil, nor a celebratory coming out, because they were calmly and contentedly gay in a way public figures were not meant to be. Their music featured neither the de-gendered lyricism nor the acceptable wink of campness that came with Freddie Mercury or Elton John or much of what was accepted as gay music. Balance and Christopherson rejected the demand that they either embrace performative homosexuality, or remain discreet and closeted.

N the 80s, with grotesque homophobia daily fodder for British tabloids, it was perhaps unsurprising that early interviews averted their gaze from Coil’s homosexuality. This was usually done either by quoting the ‘accumulation of male sexual energy’ phrase from the How To Destroy Angles liner-notes without comment on its overtly queer significance, or by making reference to sexual extremity as a veiled euphemism meaning gay sex. Such squeamishness extended across Coil’s entire career. Their treatment mimicked that of William S. Burroughs.3 Audiences were unable to honestly face works suffused with gay life, gay fantasy, and queer identities beyond the restrictive effeminacy imposed by polite society. Burroughs was only assimilated as a countercultural icon once all the ejaculating penises had been greyed out and he had been redrawn as a sexless old man, a druggy guru figure void of sensuality. Portrayals of Coil similarity presented ‘acceptable’ rebelliousness – occultism, apocalypse, narcotics, sonic experimentation – as the definitive means through which to understand their work, with homo sexuality given short shrift. While ink was splashed describing how those other elements played out as an influence on Coil’s work, not one article or interview grappled with the fact that Coil’s music was suffused with their queerness.

In 1984, asked to differentiate Psychic TV and Coil, Balance pinpointed: ‘we have no female members and Psychic TV did have and had a very definite feminine/lunar side. We are conscious of our sexual position. We choose male dynamic subjects given the choice…’ The group first EP was not just a magickal exercise,

 

3 I wholeheartedly recommend Queer Burroughs by Jamie Russell to any and all readers.

 

It was gay sex magick; Scatology, while metaphorically complex, acknowledge a sexual interest Christopherson enacted in a gay context; Coil’s first video was an AIDS parable accompanying a single raising money for the t«Terrence Higgins Trust and they would contribute to a John Giorno compilation funding AIDS research. There’s even selective blindness when it comes to the cosmology in which Coil positioned themselves: Aleister Crowley, Austin Osman Spare, William S. Burroughs, Pier Paolo Pasolini – these were all gay or bisexual men. Without denying other interests, sexuality was a critical bond between Coil and the icons with whom they wished to be associated.

In their film-related work too, homosexuality framed their productive relationships with Derek Jarman; the extreme BDSM imagery Coil’s pornography Collection contributed to Hellraiser; the film adaptation of Dennis Cooper’s novel Frisk; their soundtrack to Britain’s first explicit video sex guide for the gay community, The Gay Man’s Guide To Safer Sex (again raising money for the Terrence Higgins Trust). Sara Dale’s Sensual Massage was exceptional: a Coil soundtrack not tied to a gay film-maker or writer!

Even glance at Coil’s music makes it hard to deny the inspirational force provided by homosexuality. Without delving into numerous homoerotic phrases, or lines addressed to lovers one should assume were male, just glance at their titles: ‘AYOR’, ‘Backwards’, ‘The Sewage Worker’s Birthday Party’, ‘Slur’, ‘The Halliwell Hammers’, ‘The Anal Staircase’, ‘Protections’, ‘Queens Of The Circulating Library’, ‘Sex With Sun Ra’, ‘The Gimp’ …Love’s Secret Domain’s Cover art came replete with an ejaculating penis at his centre, while the title track’s video saw Balance perform amid youthful male go-go dancers – a vision of Coil Surrounded by homoerotic life and resolutely focused on homosexuality.4 Coil were so overt they declared gender their

 

4 There’s further, rarely noted, penis descending like a meteor into the Astral Disaster artwork.

 

Career’s overarching structure, male and female phases in which they personified both genders. While private in their day-to-day lives and having no wish to become political figures, they still attended gay rights protests; received callouts in gay zines such as JDs and Homocore; gave interviews to Pink Paper and Square Peg. Even their clubgoing is portrayed in a deceptive light if one does not acknowledge much of it was in queer venues.5

Coil’s final albums emerged as Black Antlers and The Ape Of Naples, joke names for imaginary gay pornos. Their final song, ‘Going Up’ has been wrapped up in a spine-tingling legend that says Coil converted a 70s sitcom theme reciting department store goods into a hymn to the transcendence of the physical – an inspiringly magickal vision of death. Being blind to homosexuality again makes this interpretation faulty. Claiming the song for Coil was no more a foreshadowing than Funeral Music For Princess Diana, heterosexual audiences are just more comfortable seeing death then they are gay iconography. Burroughs spent his career eviscerating the cliché that gay men were supposed to be politely effeminate, therefore funny to onlookers and submissive to the dominant order. By contrast, the sitcom to which ‘Going Up’ was the theme turgidly reiterated that cliché. For Coil, choosing to restage the song was not about future death, it was about shedding the past, about Mr. Humphries’ freedom to rise above his subjugated 70s state, about Coil’s own transcendence of the musical and personal limits imposed on what gay musicians and gay lives could be. Coil’s career did not end by dwelling on death, it ended on a celebration of 20 years of uncompromising queer creativity opposing and escaping the past. A true history of Coil, one respectful of their queerness, is sorely overdue.

 

5 Stephen Thrower stated in a 2021 interview with Mark Pilkington: ‘… the gay press hardly ever paid any attention to Coil. It really was the cliché of, if you’re making disco bunny or house music then you might get covered in the gay press, but if you’re not doing something that appeals to that rather superficial aesthetic… they didn’t even deign to glance at you.’ Ultimately, Coil remained outsiders with an individualistic vision of what gay identity could be.

 

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A sad irony of Throbbing Gristle’s legacy was that, in holding a mirror to the worst of society, they ushered in less discerning scavengers happy to revel in abuse. It’s underappreciated – often willfully forgotten – how violent Britain was during the 70s and 80s. On into Coil years, Christopherson and Balance were living in the paradoxical outcome of World War Two’s victory into a myth of absolute national righteousness absolving them of any need to reflect on clear currents of Fascism within British society. Blinded by one-dimensional triumphalism, violence was justified against anyone who, by mere fact of their existence, was deemed a social outsider: people of colour, Jews, women, homosexuals, punks, squatters, miners, travelers, peace campaigners… The adoption of Swastikas by the punk generation was a direct challenge to their parents’ moral corruption, one intended to turn the ‘little Hitlers’ puce with rage. Throbbing Gristle were even more radical, with Christopherson pointing out that ‘tolerance of – even encouragement of – minorities has always been a very central and clear part of Throbbing Gristle theory.’

Unfortunately, as had happened in the 60s with the American counterculture, the open-minded and fluid communities that formed around radical causes in the U.K. attracted jackals alive to the scent of profit at others’ expense; while acquiring a degree of power brought certain participants’ latent authoritarianism to the surface. For some, the anarchy slogans and fight against oppression became the warped grotesquery of libertarianism. By the mid-80s, the community around Coil contained a number of bad faith actors, cosplay Fascists, edgelords, and outright Nazis. Coil responded by establishing both spiritual and physical separation from such grim figures, ever increasing hermetic isolation, with Christopherson later describing one such case: ‘… we fell out because of Boyd’s increasingly racist public image. It wasn’t because of political or social correctness. For us it was just common sense. Anyone who singles out a particular portion of any population for criticism just because they fit into a certain category – whether it be gay, or black, or Jewish, or even female – to us was, and is, simply moronic.’ Opponents of the mainstream, rejected by the gay scene, Coil also became outsiders in opposition to other outsiders.

Later in Coil’s career, Balance was unyielding in his position: ‘everyone has an equal right to survive – the total opposite of Fascism.’ However, continued openness to valid lines of non-mainstream inquiry did lead to occasional, and unintentional, proximity to latter-day Fascism’s fellow travelers. One such example was Balance’s 2004 interview with the journal TYR. The conversation is one of the most hopeful to the final years of his life and I’m very pleased to include it here, but I’m diametrically at odds with certain of TYR’s other contributors peddling racism veiled in talk of national or cultural pride, whitewashing the well attested anti-Semitism and supremacism of various historical movements and figures, or espousing Fascism under euphemisms such as ‘radical traditionalism’, all to give pseudo-historical/pseudo-scientific justification for the familiar reactionary, anti-democratic, and racist banalities of the far right.

Such beliefs are the opposite of those Coil lived and gave voice to. Coil were on the receiving end of authoritarian power, the threat of oppression, and the reality of bigotry throughout their existence. They countered it with the radical nature of their work but also by adopting a stance of philosophical, spiritual and intellectual opposition. On the one hand, this meant Balance’s pagan belief in the universal oneness of all mankind and nature – ‘everything is sacred and everything has a soul… I’ve found it works and no one is ever going to persuade me any other way. Everything is sacred. That totally eliminates Fascism or racism…’ – and, on the other hand, Christopherson plain-spoken honesty – ‘Do I think bands who flirt with Nazi or Fascist imagery should be held responsible if they encourage people to abuse others even inadvertently? Yes I do! If you give someone directions, you are in part responsible if they, or someone else, gets hurt as a consequence of what you tell them. Encouraging anyone to think that Nazi of Fascist beliefs or behavior toward others are okay (even by Inaction) is NOT okay.’

 

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A further misconception regarding Coil is the belief that they were prone to abandoning projects. While the Rumoured, Announced, Unreleased, Abandoned page on Brainwashed lists 75 entries 1983-2004, almost all are discarded names or formats for music that did in fact emerge. It seems the duo rarely forgot anything. Black Light District, for example, originated as a Boyd Rice title on the Bethel compilation released by Balance in 1983; became the title for acid house tunes made with Drew McDowall 1988-1989; morphed into part of a comic book concept, Underground, in the early 90s; before emerging as an alternative group identity in 1996.

In fact, there’s a fair case to be made that Balance consistently worked to time scales beyond normal attention spans. At school in the late 70s, his first group, Stabmental, gave two performances: ‘Non-Appearance One’ and ‘Non-Appearance With A Little Girl’. Both times, the band prepared the sounds, set the stage – then didn’t turn up. In that context, it’s no accident that Stabmental recorded an album which was never released; nor that it was titled Hidden Fears which by their very nature are potent, while remaining imaginary. Coincidentally or not, Coil’s first performance, scheduled to take place at the Equinox Event on 21 June 1983, was cancelled. Balance turned up anyway and did ‘something’ outside, meaning Coil was inaugurated with an indeterminate non-appearance. That August, Coil properly took a stage to perform the pointedly titled ‘Silence And Secrecy’. Strobes, amplified cicadas, frankincense… But no actual performance. Balance described it as ‘extended tension’ with the audience complicit in imagining fulfillment that would never come. A clue lies in the blatant, yet subtle, borrowing from the language of movies where the sound of insects is a prompt indicating the wait for something about to happen.

A supposedly ‘lost’ release, The Sound Of Music compilation, was first mentioned in 1985 and still spoken of a decade later. Far from being forgotten, the content became The Angelic Conversation LP and parts of the Unnatural History II and II compilations. In discussion at the time, Balance made the point: ‘I don’t know what order these things are coming out in. Or what form they will take. Or if they will even come out in this dimension…’ That final statement is crucial. Far from being glib, Balance should be taken at his word given it is consistent with, and a continuous thread to, the earliest motivation visible in his work. The audience’s projections onto his announcements, their wait for resolution, were already musical/magickal experiences regardless of whether they manifested physically. Coil’s most famous non-arrival, Backwards – for the appropriately named Nothing Records – appeared after Balance’s death with Christopherson saying, ‘all those tracks that had been unfinished for reasons that were not clear to me, suddenly could be, and for the first time made sense.’ How far ahead could Balance see? His career both began and ended present, yet invisible.

 

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One thing to bear in mind while reading this volume is how obscure Coil were for much of their career. The mid-80s mainstream was relatively hospitable with Biba Kopf, Don Watson and others giving them space in the music weeklies, but it was the burgeoning fanzine network that gave the most extensive coverage. Balance kept up a vigorous campaign of in-person and letter-based interviews, with Christopherson joining in around, but that enthusiasm ebbed and Coil apparently gave up on interviews across 1988, 1989, and most of 1990. Similarly, the British press showed little interest in Coil during the guitar-centric years of Madchester, Grunge and Britpop with most coverage appearing in continental media. The absence of label promotional backing, along with Balance’s struggles, caused periodic silences after 1992 with Coil’s mailing list being the main source of news. It was only with the rise of electronica influenced by Coil, The Wire’s turn toward ‘adventures in modern music,’ plus the rise of online journalism allowing longer interviews, that Coil’s status was renewed. Touring boosted coverage still further though many publications rightly felt that audiences would know little of Coil, making it not uncommon to see their career or discography recapped at the start of interviews. The inaccessibility of most of Coil’s pre-internet interviews meant journalists often displayed significant unfamiliarity, or ran through standard-issue ‘touring band’ or ‘getting to know you’ questions, occasionally enlivened by genuine enthusiasts.

The deaths of John Balance and Peter Christopherson stand in stark contrast, but neither was sweet. To loved ones, each was a sadness song, a unique pain I have no wish for anyone to relive. The only humane response to death is empathy and it is that emotion that led to the approach chosen for this book. Rejecting the intrusion of biography, perhaps we could still commune with the honoured dead? Creating this anthology of interviews allowed Balance and Christopherson to share their story as they chose to tell it: Coil as a living breathing entity. A desire was to blend functional accounts with more expansive conversations, allowing the reader to encounter the departed in all their wit, wisdom, mischief, fire and sweetness.

 

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I do not readily attribute life’s coincidences to mystical roots… However… While creating this book, benevolent serendipity came with such regularity that it felt like friendly hands pushing me forward. I count ten occasions when locked doors at bedtime would open spontaneously by morning. I’d go to bed stumped and each time I awoke to emails in which, without prompting or knowledge of my challenges, individuals simply appeared bearing answers to questions and conundrums. One night, Balance grumbled on a tape about being ‘ripped off’ by a book, but didn´t identify the volume in questions. The next morning, John Coulthart emailed me and, despite us never having spoken before, spontaneously explained it all to me out-of-the-blue. Another night, I surrendered abjectly having failed to identify the person behind a pseudonym from the mid-80s. The next day, mid-conversation, Gary Levermore suddenly said ‘I used to do some music writing under the name…’ and turned out to be precisely the person I was looking for! On one occasion, I despaired of finding any interviews from 1988-1989, only for Claus Laufenburg to pop up and hand me an unreleased letter the following day. On another, I realized I had no clue how to track down anything Coil did on their PR trip to Germany in 1987… Then an email from Graf Haufen arrived that same day with a link to a German fanzine archive.

On two  occasions it felt overtly like someone saying hello. On 28 March 2021 I delved into Jeremy Reed and Karolina Urbaniak’s beautiful book Altered Balance for the first time after it had sat on the shelf for months. I realized I’d opened the book at a letter from Balance dated 28 March 2000 – which felt like kind best wishes given it’s my birthday, and also because 28 March 2000 was the date I received my first Coil album. Another night I was transcribing a letter from Balance to Mr. Mark Lally and sat pondering how much of it I might use. Turning to the next page, I was faced with a handwritten exhortation from Balance: ‘I hoe you can reprint most if not all because I think I’ve written some important things here…’ Who was I to argue? Even the connection to Strange Attractor Press was serendipitous. I was looking to buy a book and the email response was from Mark Pilkington who had interviewed Coil in 2001. I explained why that delighted me and he suggested we talk… This book was the result.

A further motivation was that, in spite of Coil’s enduring critical reputation, the biographical bibliography is slim. The essential work remain David Keenan’s England’s Hidden Reverse (also the accompanying booklet Furfur). Personal reminiscences and original letters feature in Jeremy Reed and Karolina Urbaniak’s Altered Balance, The Abrahadabra Letters by Anthony Blokdijk and Zoe Dewitt’s Nekrophile Records 1983-1990. In terms of analysis I heartily recommend the scholarship of Phil Barrington and Dr. Hayes Hampton, while Cormac Pentecost’s zine Man Is The Animal is a quality compendium of Coil considerations. There’s also Edward Pandemonium’s Twilight Language, a helpful guide to Coil’s references. Beyond that, various volumes cover Coil visually, specifically: Ruth Bayer’s Coil: Camera Light Oblivion, and Timeless Editions’ The Universe Is A Haunted House; Peter Christopherson Photography; and Bright Lights And Cats With No Mouths: The Art Of John Balance Collected.

At this point, I most bow respectfully to Kiefer Gorena and the team at the amazing Live Coil Archive: a stunning and comprehensive record of Coil’s existence as a live entity, a real labour of love. I would encourage anyone with memories, memorabilia, or recordings to get in touch and consider contributing to the LCA. I owe many thanks, as ever, to so many people for their kindness – life’s most undervalued quality. To name but a few, thank you to Isabel Atherton, Mark Pilkington, Richard Rupenus, Oscar Smit, Simon Dell, Anne Marie Nyvold., to Hans at FromTheArchives, and – always – to the LiveNirvana fan community for showing me what could be achieved through DIY passion.








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